Struggling with confidence at work? You’re not alone.
Many women who appear high-functioning on the outside are quietly wrestling with self-doubt at work. But here’s what we’ve learned after coaching dozens of women: what looks like a confidence problem is often something else entirely.
It’s not always about you. It might be about the environment you’re trying to lead in.
Sometimes, the issue isn’t that you’re not confident – it’s that you’re constantly navigating feedback, systems, and expectations that make it hard to stay confident.
This isn’t about blaming yourself or your workplace. It’s about naming the tension between the leader you are and the conditions you’re expected to lead within. And once you see that, you can lead with more clarity, strategy, and purpose.
Let’s dig into what that might look like and how to build the kind of confidence that sticks.
1. You’re expected to lead but not to challenge anything
Many women are promoted into leadership because they’ve performed well. But when they try to lead differently – by challenging outdated processes or advocating for real change – they’re seen as difficult.
They’ve been told “you’re ready,” but what they really mean is: “as long as you don’t change anything.”
That’s not a confidence issue. That’s a culture mismatch.
Coaching prompt:
Think about the last time you hesitated to challenge a decision or speak up in a meeting.
- What stopped you?
- Was it about you, or about how it might be received?
- What would support have looked like in that moment?
2. You’ve absorbed feedback that isn’t helpful, or isn’t even about you
Many women carry years of contradictory feedback:
- You’re too quiet. You talk too much.
- You need to speak up more. You come across too strong.
- You’re not strategic enough. You’re too polished and calculated.
Over time, that noise erodes confidence. You start editing yourself so often, you forget what your own leadership voice sounds like.
Coaching prompt:
What’s one piece of feedback you’ve carried that doesn’t feel useful anymore?
Whose voice is it, and do you want to keep it?
This doesn’t mean ignoring feedback. It means learning to discern what’s constructive versus what’s projection.
3. You’ve never had a space where real leadership growth happens
Confidence doesn’t grow in a vacuum.
Most traditional leadership training focuses on surface skills – presentation, posture, presence. But it rarely creates the space to unpack real leadership blocks:
- Fear of being misunderstood
- Navigating power dynamics
- Managing up without over-explaining
- Building credibility without losing approachability
That’s why we built the Women’s Leadership Development Program to go deeper.
Our September cohort isn’t about handing you another checklist. It’s about creating a space where you can actually do the work—with a peer group that gets it and coaches who guide you from uncertainty to clarity.
Coaching prompt:
What kind of support would change the way you show up at work right now?
What would it take to ask for it – or find it?
Ready to explore your leadership with more clarity?
Start with this:
Download the Leadership Confidence Reflection Guide
This free resource is designed to help you identify where your confidence is getting stuck and how to shift it. It’s the same tool we use with coaching clients and program participants.
Note: You’ll be asked to sign up for our newsletter to access the guide. It’s how we share weekly strategies, resources, and upcoming opportunities.
Or, if you already know you’re ready for a deeper transformation, take a look at the full program overview here:
Women’s Leadership Development Program – September Cohort
